Getting Dandy

Taken by Nicole in Chicago.

Things haven't been dandy. I thought that my very intense year in grad school would be the worse of it. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. When I didn't get the job that I had worked so hard for, I was heartbroken. I had built myself up to the idea that I would only be fulfilled if I was able to accomplish this goal. It was a goal that I had been working towards ever since I boldly stepped into adulthood. The disappointment and frustration made for the perfect storm to lose myself in.

My hubster and I have had more conversations than I can count on this subject. He says that I need to find myself. Not to let my situation or my career become the definition of who I am. I've been looking. I really have. Looking in all those familiar and friendly places: books, songs, landscapes of unfamiliar places when I travel, and the words of those who care about me. I suppose I should look into the mirror or simply start with "I am." Let's start with that.

I am...

happy to be married to the silliest and smartest person I know.
worried that I'm losing my sarcasm in a sea of sadness.
a cook who cooks by taste and not by recipe.
glad that I like to take pictures of everything.
a bit bookish but not too bookish.
stronger than I will admit.
crafty not artistic.
thoughtful.
stubborn.
thankful.

That looks like a good start. As my hubster says, this summer will hopefully be a time for positive reflection.